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[*clap your hands*]. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. 20 Funny Out-of-Office Messages to Inspire Your Own [+ Templates] - HubSpot In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. Take Your Time. 48. How do you want me to be? Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. I like being single. 1. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. Oof, gotta hide! Mentally? Have you been thinking? "Hey You, I'm really good. 15. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. Im always there when I need me. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. 77. 60. It's impossible for things to be perfect. Scroll down! While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. 7. Im Alive GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY 83. I am not sure what you mean. There is plenty of room. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. 69. Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. 7. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. 35. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. Read more about Martin here. . Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? Socioeconomically? Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. Best "How Are You?" Answers. To contact our editors please use our contact form. Are You Still Alive GIFs | Tenor See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. Were already married, remember?! Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. How to answer when someone asks me, "Are you still alive - Quora My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. 31. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. 29. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Pick your struggle. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). Then they throw dirt in your face. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Thats why Im single. Chuck Bass? What do you mean Im still single. Funny as phuck. 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition 3. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. 55+ Coronavirus Memes Funny Coronavirus Memes - Parade: Entertainment Dave Barry (author). "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". 10. Want to equip yourself with more responses? 79. 150+ Funny and Witty Answers to the Question "How Are You?" [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" (& Other Questions!) - Science of People 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. 2. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? If you are, then maybe were meant to be! 5. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. Alive Jokes. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! I'm alive! On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. 8. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." Just Smile And Nod But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. 3. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Was that comment meant to offend me? I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. While most of us answer with an uninspired I am fine, thank you, the universal greeting question how are you? So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. 13 Wildly Successful People Answer the Question: "What Do You Do?" 54 Exciting What If Questions - Best Ways You'll Love Fun - Mantelligence No, not really. The following two tabs change content below. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. Most of the time, that is not true. Living the dream! For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. 5 Foolproof Opening Texts to Amp Up Her Attraction FAST - Gotham Club Your hair looks great! Socioeconomically? No, waitIm actually plural. I favour the "How am I what?" Use the opportunity to make a good impression. 2. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Still Alive synonyms - 44 Words and Phrases for Still Alive Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. Moving in with Roommates? 12. You win the internet. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. Whats a funny way to respond to the question 'Are you still alive?' Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". Im not single. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. But, they will grow up into a dog. 4. (This line came from the cartoon show. Liked what you just read? It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" 84. Are you still alive? Follow for more funny content!! #fyp #bask "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. 20 Perfect Responses To Send When Your Ex Texts You - Vixen Daily Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. 92. and our Could Be Payday. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Getting better with every passing second. . 30. 1. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? 57. To text, most of us need our thumbs. 11. Everyone has a different sense of humor. Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? Keep calm and be awesome. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. Thats because Im still waiting for you. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. But half the time, it is a nightmare. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. "Alright. 64. Unlikely, but worth a shot. Reply. "Still alive" is polite. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. 60 of the Most Savage Responses People Received From Their Exes I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. You want to make them laugh, not yell. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. Because if you are, youre doing it right. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. Maybe you can Google it. 59. You have an old soul. In fact, theyre taking too much of it. Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? Are you serious? I repeat I am plural! Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Because they are already taking their time. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. What's your sign? Who knows, they might just do it. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. 100+ Funny Things to Ask Alexa (with its Hilarious Responses) - ITTVIS Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? I just woke up like that one day. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. At minding my own business? Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. Steven Wright (comedian). Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. 65. 43. Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. Brilliant! TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? 32. Here's another way to respond to your crush. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. | Are you surviving? 28. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. 8 Funny Replies To "Hahaha" Text Better Responses Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. Im single by choice. The Funniest Replies for People Who Are Always Asked "Are You Okay?" 35 Best Texts to Respond to a Date that has Ghosted You Are you Jamaican? Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." 95+ Heartwarming Alive Jokes | buried alive, stayin alive jokes I dont know. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. There are nosy people everywhere! However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. 20. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Do you want the short or the detailed version? If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Funny and Clever Quotes About Mortality, Death, and Dying She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts 1. This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . My lawyer told me not to answer that question. No, keep talking. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. WHY!? Not bad. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. Happy, and I know it. 80. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. You don't need to say it. *licks lips*. Shane from The L Word? It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! Siri, why am I still single? A real low-life. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. 35 Best Replies To "I Miss You" (Cute & Friendly) - Grammarhow The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Hanging by a thread. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. Im jealous of people who dont know you. a fate worse than death." More like give me a sign that. You may join me, though. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? funny response to are you still alive I hope you like some of them. What a miracle. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. I only fall in love with anime characters. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. 78. But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." For more information, please see our Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." Not so much. 8. 4. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. 3. 11. All rights reserved. 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), 31+ Good Comebacks to Use in an Argument With a Girl, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. 70. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. 4. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. You just live. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. (Use a sexy tone). 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. Follow for more funny content!! Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. I love you. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. The music billboard charts got it wrong! As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. Youre a ground-hugger. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. Not sure why you're asking me my age. Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. 7 Tricky Work Situations, and How to Respond to Them There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! . I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. 19 Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top - TextGod.com I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. via: Pexels / George Pak. 47. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? Physically? This one is a bit long. Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. You're the reason God created the middle finger. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? It's quite the accomplishment. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. "You know I can do this anytime.". 24. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard.