I don't always agree with everything he says, but I always listen Given the nature of our current Administration, I thought it timely to revisit what George said years ago (Back In Town HBO Special, 1996 . This cookie is used for identifying the geographical location by country of the user. The GUC cookie is set by Yahoo for Yahoo conversion tracking. Rubicon Project sets this cookie as an internal user identifier that stores user data to be used for analytics. "I have certain rules I live by. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a. AddThis sets this cookie to track page visits, sources of traffic and share counts. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin : And I'll guarantee you one thing: you start executing, you start nailing one white banker per week to a big wooden cross on national TV, you're gonna see that drug traffic begin to slow down pretty fucking quick. Answer (1 of 16): He hated mostly all politicians. These current events and social issues that are relevant today . ", 5. ", 77. Yeah, the public sucks. You have OWNERS! They own everything.. In fact, liberals are so successful at winning the culture war that they are alienating most Americans. This cookie is set by Segment to help track visitor usage, events, target marketing, and also measure application performance and stability. ", Want more great quotes? On Election Day, I stay home. Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, The Funniest Political Quotes of All Time, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. The demdex cookie, set under the domain demdex.net, is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains. ", 95. We're all fucked," Carlin once said. Join. 'George Carlin - Life Is Worth LosingRecorded 5 Nov 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New YorkReleased: January 10, 2006Audio-visual content monetised by copyright claimant, MPI Media He loves you, and He needs money! When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. ", 74. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. "The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. That's the problem. Carlins truth-telling about the influence of corporations in America and the willful blindness that allowed someone like Trump to assume power. ", 21. This cookie is set by the provider Mixcloud. ""Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. F*ck Hope. You dont. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: The Public Sucks. He saw it from a . Nobody seems to care. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. This cookie is associated with Django web development platform for python. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. Thats what all that asshole jock bullshit is all about. ", 125. ", 101. It helps in improving the performance. ", 36. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public Sucks. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. ", 6. I mean, life is tough. The ID is used for targeted ads. He always needs money! ""Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Petras said shes glad the industry is finally catching on to her talent. "A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, its not the politicians who suck. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. - Doc Holliday. Theyre anti-woman, simple as it gets, he said. 1 Every year in January, WEF holds its annual meeting in Davos, Switzerland. School officials told the couple that they present an inherent harm to kids.. Carlin was known for keeping things real, and his funny jokes were sure to get a laugh out of anyone. Prof Thuggy aka Professor Thug 32K views 1. Who Does George Carlin Represent? | by Michael Thompson | Medium Bing sets this cookie to recognize unique web browsers visiting Microsoft sites. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! "The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. They don't care about you at all -- at all -- at all. If they say, Were the So-and-Sos, take a walk. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ", 84. "Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. Take George Carlin, for example. Some of the data that are collected include the number of visitors, their source, and the pages they visit anonymously. It creates a hostile work environment. They should be more vivid. ' Avoid teams at all costs. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. A unique user identifier cookie, set by Microsoft Application Insights software, that enables counting of the number of users accessing the application over time. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. ", 4. ", 98. He is famous for being named the 'The Dean of Counterculture Comedians.' His dark humor penetrates different issues of life, religion, language, and class. No nothing! '", 70. But, he is wrong here. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech.  Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. This cookie is set by Segment to count the number of people who visit a certain site by tracking if they have visited before. He died from heart failure in 2008, survived by his second wife Sally Wade, and his daughter, Kelly. ""This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. ", 80. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.". "Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. ", 81. It will not be with jack-boots. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. Associated with Amazon Web Services and created by Elastic Load Balancing, AWSELB cookie is used to manage sticky sessions across production servers. George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat. George Carlin, When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. ", 33. "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. ", 117. ", 116. ", 17. George Carlin on the American Dream (with transcript) New evidence may suggest they don't and many voters are skeptical, too. He missed this one. They own all the important land. You think the schools are the way they are by accident? Good honest hard-working people white collar, blue collar, it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. They got you by the balls. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Your culture and entertainment cheat-sheet. This is what we have to offer. Believe me, my friend. It seems only right. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. ", 79. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin, I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimers disease where they slowly began to recover other peoples lost memories. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. But once youre born, youre on your own. ", 11. Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. ", 51. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, Back In Town, Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. These Politicians Don't Care About You At All - Medium 'He's two' will do just fine. This country is full of nitwits and assholes. ", 30. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. "I don't believe anything the government tells me.". His beliefs in fairness and equality in. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. No president has done right by us. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. Dumb ass motherfuckers., The real owners, the big, wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. These Politicians Don't Care About You At All The failures of people who supposedly represent the people Photo by Marco Oriolesi on Unsplash When people elect leaders in a democracy, the. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. ", 9. Where are these people hiding? RIP George Carlin. "Men are from. And generally speaking, people onthe right of center, are interested in property values, property, property rights. I like people who buck the system. he was a conservative. This cookie is set by Facebook to display advertisements when either on Facebook or on a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising, after visiting the website. The people left of center were liberals; the people right of center were conservatives. ", 121. Trouble is, most of them suck. Part of HuffPost Entertainment. "When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Well, we know what they want: They want more for themselves and less for everybody else.". "I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008. ""Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. 27 Feb 2023 13:57:17 My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. You have owners. "It helps to remember this.. George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? Im tired of this shit. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. "I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. With his daring satirical jokes, his words will make you laugh and make you think profoundly about everything you experience. That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. I think I was probably a cowboy in a past life. YouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data. I'm used to dogs. The table has tilted, folks. ", 20. "You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby . This cookie is used by Akamai to optimize site security by distinguishing between humans and bots. "Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. I'm your huckleberry. "How is it possible to have a civil war? Obedience, respect for authority. "How can [God] be perfect? This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. "Things you never hear: 'Please stop sucking my d**k or I'll call the police. Religion is like a pair of shoes, you have to find the one that fits you. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Weve also included some of his sketches from YouTube, viral videos of jokes you might have heard once or twice before. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. Carlin is usually spot on. "Sometimes people say, 'Do I try to make audiences think?' "People are fucking nuts. "I don't have pet peeves. They dont give a fuck about you. ", 7. They will do anything for the unborn. Two decades later, the anti-abortion movement hasn't really changed. "I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' A cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface. This data helps to customize website content to enhance user experience. They don't fall out of the sky. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Scratch any cynic, and you will find a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. Carlin had 14 comedy specials, several published books and CDs, 5 Grammy awards, many TV and movie roles, and the title of being the first-ever host of Saturday Night Live, all under his belt. The uuid2 cookie is set by AppNexus and records information that helps in differentiating between devices and browsers. But He loves you. Provided by amazon-adsystem to make advertising messages more relevant to the users and their interests. George Carlin. the politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Quote by George Carlin: "But there's a reason. There - Goodreads ""Deep Throat: Think about it. Say what you want about America land of the free, home of the brave we got some dumb**s motherf**kers floating around in this country, Carlin says over the images. George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. Doesnt give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. Forget the politicians. These days, 'Trajedi. It enables the embedding of Mix Cloud audio player. ", 11. I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin, Now, theres one thing you might have noticed I dont complain about: politicians. You have owners. ", 54. RLCDN sets this cookie to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. The cookie is set by Snapchat to show relevant ads to the users by tracking user behaviour on Snapchat. George Carlin - Wikiquote ", 60. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". George Carlin was right: Donald Trump is America - Salon Enjoy! document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. God has a three-day weekend. George Carlin, The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. ""Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. ", 34. This gif says it all: Carlins performance is being passed around on social media after a leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court indicates that Roe v. Wade may soon be overturned, paving the way for abortion to be outlawed in parts of the nation. In the standup special, which premiered just three years before Carlin's death, the comedian claims that "the real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions." What we need is a king, and every now and then if the kings not doing a good job, we kill him. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. "Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' ""Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? ", 16. ", 100. But dont participate; it will be your death. ", 35. ", 92. ", 90. This cookie is set by pippio to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. That's what the owners count on; the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes everyday. ", 32. George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube George speaking the truth. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. "My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' Germany lost the Second World War. George Carlin: Dumb Americans (2006) - Full Transcript The 2023 theme was "cooperation in a fragmented world," with WEF noting, "The world today is at a critical inflection point. The _omappvs cookie, used in conjunction with the _omappvp cookies, is used to determine if the visitor has visited the website before, or if it is a new visitor. 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life - Succeed Feed He talked about things that could be considered controversial, like politics and politicians, religion, drugs, and the demise of humanity. Casale Media sets this cookie to collect information on user behavior, for targeted advertising. George Carlin's Funniest Political Quotes - LiveAbout It helps in consumer profiling for online advertising. ", 65. ", 56. Here's Why George Carlin's 1996 Rant on Pro-Life Conservatives - Mic Answer (1 of 12): He was a liberal. And apparently, Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. George Carlin, Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, If there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that hes at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesnt give a shit. George Carlinwas one of the greatest comedians that ever graced a stage, and his comedy was as poignant and deep as it was hilarious. They should be giving their money to you. The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. "Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Cloudflare sets this cookie to improve page load times and to disallow any security restrictions based on the visitor's IP address. I don't like cats. The late great stand-up, actor and occasional philosopher George Carlin was known to cross the lines of what polite society would call good taste, but he himself drew a few lines when it came. G eorge Carlin was ahead of his time.
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